Doncaster East Uniting Church Blog

A test of my resolve today – lunch at a nice restaurant for my Mum’s birthday.

Technically in the season of Lent the Sunday’s are considered mini Easter’s so it is permissible to break the fast, but I had already taken liberties by wearing shoes to play cricket yesterday, so I didn’t want to soft out.

Would I cause an embarrassing scene at Mum’s birthday by being refused entry at the Winery? I threw some shoes in the car just in case, not really knowing what I would do if it caused a problem. I hoped I wouldn’t have to compromise but as a last resort (perhaps after claiming that I was observing a religious ritual) I bargained with myself that, if forced to wear shoes, I wouldn’t wear socks so that it would at least be uncomfortable.

Fortunately it didn’t come to that.

None of the staff seemed to notice as I kept my naked feet under my chair and table at all times (though I was nervous walking past the counter to find the toilet at one point.)

However, it wasn’t only the staff I needed to be concerned about it turns out. As I stood with Mum saying my goodbyes, a woman who had been eating at a table behind me walked past and commented, ‘Perhaps you’ll wear shoes next time…’

I had never met this woman or even noticed her until that point, but here I was receiving attire advice from her!
Had my shoeless state impacted her dinning experience?
Had I cheapened the atmosphere of the place? (well probably, but that had nothing to do with my footwear!)
I was wearing long trousers and a nice shirt (even a collar!), yet just my lack of shoes was enough to draw a derogatory comment from a complete stranger.

I’m considering this a Have-Not experience. Is this a regular occurrence? Humiliation, judgment, fear of exclusion, anxiety about causing a scene?

How do I (as a confessed Have) unwittingly contribute to the atmosphere of value judgment based on Have vs Have-Not?

Lucas T.